I’ve just sat down in my bed, which is my “office” for some reason. I seem to be more productive when I’m sitting here with a cup of cocoa and Friends playing in the background.
Lately I have thousand thoughts running around in my head. I usually meditate or workout, but right now, all I want to do is just get it down on paper and share my thoughts with you guys.
◊ Have you ever had to make a choice between the easy choice which is also the right one for you at the moment and the hard choice, which is getting out of your comfort zone, walking towards the unknown, instead of going back to the same thing you always do? Should you choose the logical thing to do or just take a leap of faith and follow your heart wherever it takes you? This is so hard and something I have been struggling with the past six months.
◊ Today I received my grade reports from law school. It’s not that I didn’t know how well I did, but holding that report card in my hand just filled me with joy and a feeling of accomplishment. The past three years have been anything but easy. Juggling three different jobs, studying full time and dealing with loneliness was at times so suffocating that I was tempted to quit everything and move back home. Luckily, I didn’t do that. During the past three years, I have met the wall on so many occasions, but this time I was forced to handle it instead of running back to my room to binge watch Netflix. I have learned to understand myself and I’m still working on developing myself every day. I’m more self-aware of my surroundings and I feel more empathetic and enlightened. However, I can still do better, be better and I’m trying my best.
◊ I haven’t made time to meet my friends lately. It’s not that I don’t want to, but the thing is that I get so tired of them texting, snapchatting or whatever when we are together. I’m so tired of their phones pinging all the time, that green notification light going off every few seconds. What is it about their phones that they have to be clued to them 24/7? I wish they would understand that life is happening right now, at this very moment. But what do I know, maybe I’m the problem – can’t handle being sociable, too introverted.
◊ I’m bad at seeking comfort from others when I’m feeling down. Some might think that’s a bad thing, but I think it’s liberating. I know that the bad days won’t last forever, so being able to take them for what they are is just freeing. Besides, everyone will probably just tell you to go exercise, something I love to do, but not when I’m feeling down. I don’t think we need to fix things all the time. Taking the bad days for what they are, just a bad day, will help you to overcome them easier in my opinion. But maybe I should give it a try sometime, I mean seeking comfort from others.
Disclaimer! you should always seek help if the problem is bigger than just “bad days”. Depression and other mental illnesses will not always disappear by themselves. You should be treated for that.
◊ I love reading, something you might have noticed from my Instagram feed. However, I am currently in a reading slump where the sight of a book gives me a headache. I found my solution, which is listening to audiobooks, but I still miss the feeling of holding a book in my hand. Reading has always been my escape and my comfort, the stillness that surrounds you when you chose to spend time in others imaginative world is just beautiful.